American With No Abilities Act
Washington , DC – (Dateline February 25, 2009)
President Barack Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Senator Barbara Boxer – Democrat. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.” In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi – Democrat, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid – Democrat – pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.
Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability. Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement warehouse stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%). Under AWNAA, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?” “As a Non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,”said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability to remember rightey tightey, lefty loosey.”This new law should be real good for people like me,” Gertz added.
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Dick Durbin (Democrat-IL), “As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”
Compete.com: Sarah Palin Nude Second to Most Popular Seach For Digg
According to Traffic ranking service Compete.com, it seems that “Sarah Palin Nude” is a very popular search, so popular even that it is the second most popular search term for social media site. Digg.com.
What was the first most popular search term? “Digg.com” of course. I am not sure when Compete last checked keywords, but this screenshot was taken today.
Sarah Palin Nude search term for Digg.com
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Sarah Palin Refuses to Appear on Oprah Winfrey’s Show
- Image via Wikipedia
It’s not Oprah Winfrey’s fault that former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin” rel=”homepage” class=”zem_slink”>and Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin hasn’t been a guest on her talk show yet! Chicago talk show host Oprah Winfrey declared, “I said I would be happy to talk to Sarah Palin when the election was over… I went and tried to talk to Sarah Palin and instead she talked to Greta on Fox News. She talked to Matt on ABC . She talked to Larry on CNN . But she didn’t talk to me. But maybe she’ll talk to me now that she has a book deal in the works.
When asked if Oprah will have fellow Chicagoan Barack Obama on the show, she responded, “There’s always an open invitation for the president-elect and first lady Michelle Obama.”
“Extra’s” AJ Calloway caught up with Oprah Winfrey at last night’s Alvin Ailey Dance Theater’s 50th anniversary celebration where she served as honorary chair. Winfrey joked, “In my wildest, wildest, crazy, crazy dreams, I am a dancer…When I’ve like had too many tequila shots and I go to sleep, I dream of being a dancer.”
AND – Winfrey told Calloway the one thing that she had to rescue when the Santa Barbara wildfires threatened her home was a book of letters from Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey and all the young ladies who attended her Legends Ball. Winfrey exclaimed, “So when the fires were coming and the flames were a blowin’, I said, ‘Get my letters!’”
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Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s Car for the Facebook Campus
I only have one blog, so this is the only place I can put things up. A friend sent me a picture of the car / golfcart Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg uses to go around the Facebook Campus. Notice the license plate that says FB Poke. Enjoy.
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Sarah Palin’s Mother-in Law Voted Against Her
- Image by Custom Motorcycles via Flickr
Sarah Palin’s hometown of Wasilla rallied around her as mayor – now Conservatives and Republicans wonder if the rest of America will warm up to the surprise pick from cold country.
Though her mother-in-law Faye Palin has doubts.
Faye Palin admitted she enjoys hearing Barack Obama speak, and still hasn’t decided which way she’ll vote.
“We don’t agree on everything. But I respect her passion,” she said. “Being pro-life is who Sarah is.”
Faye Palin said the governor never considered ending her recent pregnancy when genetic testing showed her son Trig, born in April, would have Down syndrome.
“There was no question,” she said. “She was going to have that baby.”
With a population of just 6,715, Wasilla is a fast-growing railroad town that got its start as a mail and supply hub linking the coastal towns of Seward and Knik to Alaska’s interior mining camps along the Iditarod dog sled trail.
Scores of reporters descended Saturday on the A-frame wood hunting lodge where Sarah Palin’s parents live amid hundreds of sets of trophy antlers and a taxidermy collection that includes a giant moose head and a full-grown mountain lion.
PHOTOS: SEE MORE OF SARAH PALIN
Faye Palin said the entire family was shocked by the news on Friday.
“I’m not sure what she brings to the ticket other than she’s a woman and a conservative. Well, she’s a better speaker than McCain,” Faye Palin said with a laugh. “People will say she hasn’t been on the national scene long enough. But I believe she’s a quick study.”
She said people doubted Sarah Palin when she ran for City Council, but that her daughter-in-law had a “singular focus.”
“She was out there with [then-young son] Track, pulling him around from house to house in a wagon,” she said.
Sarah Palin is well known as a former high school basketball star, cross-country runner, beauty queen, hockey mom, city council member and Wasilla’s mayor from 1996 to 2007.
“I think it’s great. She’s a hometown girl from Smallville, USA,” said Felix Bruno, 43, a masonry contractor who plowed her driveway. “She’s not afraid to speak her mind. She really dropped the hammer on the politicians fleecing Alaska.”
At the local Mat-Su Family Restaurant in downtown Wasilla, a Bible-study group that includes two ex-mayors from neighboring cities cheered her pick as McCain’s running mate.
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